Prey on words, part two/too/to

ROFLMAO! Oh gosh, just too funny! I needed a good laugh!

bluebird of bitterness

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Prey on words, celebrity edition

I’m at a loss for words – enjoy! I did.

bluebird of bitterness

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Just having a little pun…

An Englishman, a Frenchman, a Spaniard and a German are all standing watching a street performer do some excellent juggling. The juggler notices that the four gentlemen have a very poor view, so he stands up on a large wooden box and calls out, “Can you all see me now?”

How does Moses make his tea?
Hebrews it.

A cartoonist was found dead in his home.
Details are sketchy.

I used to be a banker,
but then I lost interest.

England has no kidney bank,
but it does have a Liverpool .

They told me I had type-A blood,
but it was a Type-O.

I changed my iPod’s name to Titanic.
It’s syncing now.

I know a guy who’s addicted to brake fluid,
but he says he can stop any time.

I stayed up all night to see where the sun went,
and then it dawned on me.

I’m reading a book about anti-gravity.
I just can’t put it down.

I did a theatrical performance about puns.
It was a play on words.

Why were the Indians able to settle here first?
They had reservations.

We’re going on a class trip to the Coca-Cola factory.
I hope there’s no pop quiz.

I didn’t like my beard at first.
Then it grew on me.

Did you hear about the cross-eyed teacher who lost her job because she couldn’t control her pupils?

When you get a bladder infection….
you know urine trouble.

Broken pencils are pretty much pointless.

What do you call a dinosaur with an extensive vocabulary? A thesaurus.

I dropped out of the Communism class because of lousy Marx.

I got a job at a bakery because I kneaded dough.

Velcro – what a rip off!

What did the mom buffalo say to her kid when she dropped him off to school? Bison.

A man lost his left arm and leg in a terrible work accident…..but he’s all right now.

The first rule of Thesaurus Club is you don’t talk about, mention, speak of, discuss or chat about Thesaurus Club.

A vas deferens separates a man from a woman.

Time flies like an arrow; fruit flies like a banana.

Two TV antennas got married. The ceremony was terrible, but the reception was excellent.

“Contraceptives should be used on every conceivable occasion.” – Harry Secombe

An Englishman, a Scot and an Irishman walk into a pub. The barman says, “Is this some sort of joke?”

Why did Hitler get hit with a baseball? He did nazi it coming.


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