“Don’t Cry” – a song for foster, and other wounded, kids

My son is a hip-hop artist who only makes clean or Christian stuff. He wrote this song in collaboration with a friend and it has had a profound effect on many people. He recently posted it on Facebook and it has been quite the hit. Here is part of his intro:

“I have met and known so many people who have been through the U.S. Foster Care System and this song is dedicated to those who have been, or are still in it. It is also dedicated to those who have grown up with parents suffering from substance abuse.

This song is for you…And I pray that it would bring healing and encouragement to you.

Please like and share! Your support means the world to me and in you sharing this track, it can encourage others who need to hear this message. God hears you, trust me…More than you know, and you are not alone.”

Download now at:

http://noisetrade.com/jlloyd/dont-cry-single

Stream on YouTube at:

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=SVylYzWUH28

“Hear My Heart”

I wasn’t going to post again so soon, but my son just came in and said I had to see this video. I’m glad I did. Andy Mineo is a Christian rapper and he just TODAY released this video in honor of his sister, who is deaf (and this is International Week of the Deaf). It is his apology for not learning sign language and apologizing. My husband is also deaf, and he really liked this, too. It’s very catchy. Enjoy!

 

Video

Unmet Expectations, Disappointments, and Getting Over Them

misc_welcome2[1]

Come on in! This is a rare peep behind the scenes. I don’t reveal much about myself often, at least not in this way, but after reading some things I have seen some Facebook friends saying about their ongoing pain from unmet expectations, disappointments, and their emotional struggles, I thought that maybe I should. A bit. Their own confessions seem to be of some help to others, but this post is not even the same category, since it is not an outpouring of angst, but a tale of triumph over my reactions to my disappointed expectations. I generally don’t see how ME sharing this can benefit anyone, and no one has ever seemed to want to listen (that I know of), but I have been wrong before – about a lot of things. We’ll see. At least no one is forced to read this. Meh.

filipino_chinese_christmas_ham_by_chewychua[1]Oddly, in elementary school, I made an OVERT decision to suppress my expectations, primarily because I’d get extremely wound up about holidays and events, then I’d feel let down; I’d also eat stuff that gave me migraines – not fun, either, so I stopped eating certain things and it helped the getting sick part, and moderating expectations helped.

Easter-Eggs[1] Since I had already begun to approach holidays and celebrations with a new attitude, I then developed a stubborn determination to get past the annual disappointment of the empty, superficial “junk” fed to kids and find the eternal (and truly satisfying) “meat” of the matter which, I found out later, most people don’t really think about until they are much older (3rd grade Me: “What do eggs and bunnies have to do with Easter, anyway?”). I even embarked on childish philosophy when, in 3rd grade I recall telling people my favorite quote was “Expect the worst, then the worst can never happen.” It’s warped logic, I know, but what do you expect from a 3rd grader?

two_little_girl_friends[1]Aside from a 6 year hiatus when we were little, we moved fairly often, so some time in high school I eventually (sort of) gave up any expectation of having/keeping/ever seeing close friends again, since getting close to anyone was slow and difficult – these things take time, and I never really had the time in any one place  (and eventually the inclination itself just sort of lost hope) to get past making easy acquaintances. Consequently, I have…not many, plus a small handful of old ones I found on Facebook, but we live far away  (my high school was in another country), are not close like we were, and can’t do the things friends do to keep up the relationship (whatever they are).

That “lonely” disappointment is the hardest to deal with, so I make the most of acquaintances or just helping people with information, since I am thick as a brick at knowing when anyone is really interested in pursuing a more substantial friendship, and am nonplussed when it appears they are (“who? Me? Really? Why?”). That’s actually funny, because I could always read any guy’s romantic interest in me to an extremely subtle degree.

Our mobile existence meant we siblings didn’t even see each siblings_by_junkosakura01-d6w7fcz[1]other much – age differences, frequent social readjustments, school in other countries, and the like – so we rapidly lost the habit of writing (air mail was expensive), or even calling (long distance was also expensive then). However, we love each other and we know it, and seem to have simply accepted it as a part of life. The odd late card, random phone calls, and now Facebook posts and messages, are welcome but not a trigger for recriminations and guilt trips, though I am sure we all secretly dream of dan21904-boxed-christian-greeting-cards-4[1]something more ideal. Me? I’m just glad I have them because they are family and precious to me, and I cherish the memories I have, especially since my “cousin” circle is tiny. Compounding the family connections problem were several years, mostly effectively “by myself”, in a foreign country, so celebrating holidays and birthdays (including my own), was a habit I lost and has been hard to re-establish.

Raft_paddle[1]The disappointment of not being able to make any choice (easy part) and be able to pursue it to fruition without an apparent Divine “Nope. Not this. Door closed.”  has been tough, but I don’t expect many people can relate to that. ANYTHING I wanted to happen RARELY did, and after high school graduation absolutely NOTHING (truly!) I planned to do worked out. This upset me since that was NOT the case with anyone else I knew, so I couldn’t even find anyone to commiserate with! When I tried to make plans of any substance there were always immoveable roadblocks and/or dreadful results/consequences of the choice, so I finally stopped fighting or trying (somewhat fatalistically, I’m afraid), threw away my figurative paddles and just hung on for the ride. If I would have sought God’s will or understood that He had a unique path for me, it would have made it much nicer and more interesting, but spiritual counsel was literally hard to come by where I was at the time, so the constant disappointment was always eating at me.

Eventually, with God’s help as I found spiritual guidance, hard-headed realism, a no-nonsense support group, and developed a quirky sense of humor about my life and myself, I accepted the pain, inevitable losses that all people have, and the many disappointments of life (including those I live with even now) as just part of living in a sin-broken world, but one that is not my real Home.

pity-party[1] I learned that to dwell on them is just wallowing in self pity, which only repels people, changes nothing, makes you bitter, and could hurt others’ feelings, so I almost never mention (or think of) them. I struggle to even write this much, and I haven’t even touched on deeper, more specific and painful disappointments, and I won’t (see the first sentence of this paragraph).

nostalgia-1[1]Some people are disappointed with where their life is and find nostalgia an easy escape. I not only don’t dwell on the past, I don’t even indulge in ANY form of nostalgia – I can’t (won’t?) relate to it because it is ultimately a false memory that can make one’s current life seem depressing and painful, so I avoid it like a hot burner.

I have lost people, pets, places, and lots of things (many of great value) , but I am so grateful for what I have now that there is no disappointment or bitterness there at all. Call me Pollyanna, if you wish, but I am truly glad at how things have worked out, with time, maturity and  my Lord’s help.

It is all behind me! Hallelujah!

grateful_7286c1[1]

Instead, through Divine appointments with people and places, acquaintances and friends-at-the-time, prayer, and seeking the One (Jesus) who is always there, I am grateful for what I have now, what God brings every day, to release any bitterness (it’s called forgiveness), and to take pleasure in every little thing, no matter what I wish was different.

Not that I don’t have worries or anxieties, but now I have a peace that doesn’t make sense and JOY! I live in His present and look forward to my future that He holds in His hands; I do not fear, for He is already there.

peace[1]

Goodbye now, my friends, I now return to my usual style.

It’s time to reconnect…

This man makes an excellent point. Watch and then go out – with your phone off.

 

My Wife Has Tattoos: Marriage, New Birth, and the Gospel

Such wisdom.

Unspoken

Image Photo credit: Todd Balsley

by Spencer Harmon

Today is the day of my wedding.  And I am not marrying the girl of my dreams.

If you would have told me when I was a teenager that my wife would have seven tattoos, a history in drugs, alcohol, and attending heavy metal concerts, I would have laughed at you, given you one of my courtship books, and told you to take a hike.  My plans were much different, much more nuanced with careful planning, much more clean-cut, and much more, well, about me.

You see, it wasn’t my dream to marry a girl that was complicated.  I never dreamed that I would sit on a couch with my future wife in pre-marital counseling listening to her cry and tell stories of drunken nights, listing the drugs she used, confessing mistakes made in past relationships.

This isn’t my dream – it’s better.

View original post 530 more words

“Eight Things to Convince You of a Man’s Character” – a link

For the ladies out there who identify themselves as Christians and who are single or “still looking,” here is an article about what to look for in a man that to read and considered. It’s not a WordPress so I can’t do more than give you the link, but…such wisdom! I think it could be better titled. Maybe, “Things you should consider when looking for a husband,” or “Things your mother probably never thought to tell you,” or “Things I wish I had considered when I was single” or something similar. What do you think?

http://marshill.com/2012/10/03/8-things-to-convince-you-of-a-mans-character

Beautiful advice from a man divorced after 16 years of marriage

Relationships – we want them, but do we have what it takes to maintain them?

Here is some wisdom and insight to keep your marriage alive.

Read and heed.

love story from the male perspective

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Huffington Post’s Gay Teen Sex Push. ‘Gay Voices’ Columnists Fixated on Underage Sex.

Repost: A Student Denounces Feminism — and Receives a Bad Grade

This form of WordPress was hard to reblog/repost from:

http://www.thinkinghousewife.com/wp/2012/09/a-student-denounces-feminism-and-receives-a-bad-grade/trackback/

Kids react to abortion

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