FYI, this is NOT changing the character and focus of my blog (I am still an eclectic blogger, just a fatter one), although it is a consequence of it–and yep, that was how I was feeling when I abruptly stopped blogging last year (recent post “Attempting balance”), and it wasn’t good.
Just sitting and typing – the good Lord didn’t design our bodies to just sit around (that is the “genetic” problem for most, but not all, of us) – it causes trouble the way a car that is just parked and left alone for a very long time goes surprisingly bad. But at least I didn’t sit around shirtless and in my underwear while doing it!
I did, however, have the not-so-sneaking, disturbing suspicion that the view from behind was worse the the one in the fitting room mirror, which I didn’t care to dwell on…
I have a few friends with weight issues so bad that at least one is now wheelchair-bound (with chronic cellulitis of the tissue in the legs, and now type 2 diabetes) making the very thing she needs and wants to do nearly impossible; another has a leg brace and cane, and others talk about their horrible “arthritis” in their knees and how they might need knee surgery… Uhhh, that’s NOT a solution, and doctors say you must lose weight before they will do it (which can obviate the need, of course). But they didn’t get to those painful states overnight, but just one ounce/pound at a time, a little more food, a little less activity, a little more self-loathing temporarily assuaged by ice cream (or whatever), and repeat….
There, if I didn’t get off that path could very well be me! Eeek! And then I saw this….
But in this slow, downward (upward?) spiral, a ray of hope…I saw my friend with the leg brace for the first time in maybe 6 months. I used to drive her to work, but she couldn’t fasten the seat belt, so she had to hold it in front to make it look like she was in compliance with the law and I didn’t get ticketed. She was on her porch and I stopped! She had lost half a person! Her leg brace was too loose (obviously!), but she was moving like I had never seen her move before! She told me how she had been going for swimming therapy several times a week and more and was excited at her progress. She even got in my car and could easily buckle the seat belt. She recently got a rescue dog and now “has to” 😉 walk it everyday. Clever girl! She inspires me!
Another friend (a homeschool mom with 5 kids and with MS, no less!) lost over 200 pounds by going to the “Y” and doing a spinning class, among other things. Another inspiring example. So where are my excuses now?
But all this almost wasn’t enough to convince me that anything I did could positively affect my body, until I watched my son’s blood glucose numbers (type 1 diabetic) consistently drop dramatically for many hours after he went for a bike ride or exercised for gym – we really had to watch that he didn’t go too low! Believe it or not, that was the last bit of proof I intellectually needed.
And yet…and yet..I needed at least one more kick in my much-too-stationary rear end…genetics. One line of one side of my family tree has a disturbing inclination toward dementia/Alzheimer’s or something, and research now strongly indicates that a sedentary lifestyle can play a very large role in that loss of self (and this in spite of that line’s greater obsession with natural eating/living, perhaps for good reason?). Fat is ugly, inconvenient and uncomfortable, but this…this…(shudder!) is a Poe-like horror! Oh, and on the other family line seemingly every female descendant from one male ancestor has stubbornly elevated cholesterol even when young, yet no apparent corresponding universal heart disease or other related health issues, but this isn’t great news either. I don’t even play the lottery, so why gamble with my health?
Sigh… I am not good at denial, but my laziness sometimes needs a huge push to overcome.
Then I saw this, and I realized that in the real world were people who had found a practical way to take “positive steps” to reverse this problem and I was energized! I wanted to do that even if I had to sacrifice space for a nice comfy couch in my living room and had to live with my futon couch.
This is what I want, and I am starting to do something about it. As I type this I’ve been walking for almost an hour and am up to almost 1-3/4 miles. The big dinner my husband and I ate out tonight is not going to have much of a hold on me today.
So I keep reminding myself to not cheat with the laptop on the couch, but to get up on my hind legs and move!! For my (and my children’s) sake I have now deliberately painted myself into a corner by this very public commentary, making you all my accountability partners. PLEASE don’t let me off the hook. When my pants start to get loose, I will let you know. For now, I shall just keep on truckin’!